Based on a true story.
Its red brick walls overlooked Duchon Field–home of Hitters football. And just beyond it, the ever-so picturesque Lake Ellyn rested, with its little wooden boathouse nestled into its shallow edges. Gazing from the 6th-floor window, amidst her last first day of the semester her senior year, that is not all she saw, though. She recalled her most cherished memories from the castle on the hill. Qualifying for state as a 3x, soon-to-be 4x varsity athlete. Never leaving the high honor roll. Spending her free time with her tight-knit group of semi-popular friends–the same since middle school. And countless Friday wins under the lights, followed by drunken nights spent in the depths of a roster-sized list of Hitter basements.
"Isn't it crazy that after this semester, we'll probably never step foot inside this school
again," she whispered to him as Ms. C carried along with her lecture.
"Seriously crazy. And it all went by so fucking fast."
It did. It all did. Just yesterday they were two 12-year-olds arguing about which would get more playing time on their respective club soccer teams. But in the blink of an eye, they went from that to wrapping up their senior year together in statistics class–and every other class. The two had nearly identical schedules for the first time in the last seven years. Which meant sitting next to each other in the last row of desks, tag-teaming group homework and in-class assignments, gossiping about their exciting weekends and planning for senior prom.
Their safe, playful conversations emerged from the friend zone and into flirtatious territory as the semester progressed. To her surprise, she discovered they had so much more in common than their long history and glory soccer days. They both loved playing Xbox; they listened to the same kind of music; they watched the same shows; they even dreamed of becoming lawyers someday.
He had changed in her eyes. He was no longer the scrawny, annoying soccer player she would banter with. Instead, he was the sweet soccer team captain with the deep blue irises and the sun-kissed blonde hair she spent her final days of senior year with.
When spring began to turn to summer, they started to hang out—just the two of them–outside of the red brick walls. In a small town like Glen Ellyn, keeping a "thing" like this a secret could be tricky. If spotted anywhere, with anyone, the news spread like wildfire. So, they took all necessary precautions: she went to prom with his best friend, he went with a family friend, Snapchat locations remained off, and when together–alone–it was either downtown Chicago or in his guest house.
They put in all of this effort to avoid the drama of flings in their friend groups, and they managed to hide their evolving "thing" for a significant sum of time. Yet, that secrecy began to fade with the arrival of mid-summer and grad party season. The two were attached at the hip under each white canopy, running undefeated rounds of pong, eating together, dancing together–the whole bit. Soon enough, her best friend noticed and asked her what the deal was.
She spilled the tea—giving a detailed report about how she felt in all of their classes during the semester, why she went to prom with A instead of him, their summer hangouts, and where her head was at now.
"Oh my lord, wipe the smirk off your face, we never fucked, and we're not dating! You
know how I am with my gut feelings and how it just has to be the right time with the right person."
"I know, I know, okay, okay! I just thought about it! But, you guys have known each other for like–ever. How is it not the right time, and how is he not the right person?"
"I don't know. But I do know that I'm not ready for any of that with him yet. I told him this last week, too, before we all went to G's house, and he was cool about it and fully understood me–just like he always has."
She wanted to enjoy the "thing" for whatever it was before everyone went their separate ways at summer's end. And she meant it when she said it. Her best friend knew that, too, even before her suspicions about him broke the surface. They frequently talked about how she needed to keep her eyes focused. Both on her preparations to run Division I cross country and track in the coming fall and the orthodox traditions her parents ingrained in her brain.
Even after G's party, she frequently communicated her values and goals with him to ensure they were on the same page. And they had been friends for so long that he was already familiar with those aspects of her personality, which was one of the parts she loved most about their "thing." Another was that she never felt pressured to do anything she didn't want to. But that all changed once the last grad party of that summer at J's rolled around.
Unfortunately, her recollection of that night is a messy culmination of strobe lights and blurred vision sponsored by Captain Morgan himself. She woke up spinning and dangling off the edge of her best friend's bed–if her parents knew she was out this close to the start of the season, they'd murder her. The sun beamed through the blinds, speckling her vision with colored blotches, forcing her awake. Her senses started to come to a bit more. Sore temples. Puffy eyes. Dying of thirst. She shimmied back under the blankets, both trying and failing to go back to sleep. Her best friend rolled over and asked:
"DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?"
"Bro, quiet down, holy shit. But, no? I don't even remember coming over here last night. I think I blacked out? Just tell me what happened?"
"Yeah, you def blacked, we Ubered back here at like 2:00, and S helped me get you up the stairs and changed."
"Classic, oh my goddddd. And thanks as always… What else happened?"
"GO PEE AND FIND OUT!"
She rubbed her half-open eyes and stumbled across the bedroom. When she plopped onto the toilet, she looked down and saw streaks of blood stains across her thong… She wasn't due for another few weeks. A single tear dripped down her face, and yanked her thong and shorts back up. She returned to her side of the bed, letting her head hit the pillow and keeping it there until her friend left for work.
⋯
That night's demons come back to haunt her in bits and pieces. They like torturing her in her nightmares and disrupting her daydreams. They particularly enjoy visiting when she feels stressed or anxious. Sometimes for no reason at all.
Their favorite re-enactment to perform is when he handed her a shot. Watched her down it in one effortless gulp. Grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the mob and dragging her up the stairs into the guest bedroom. As the door slowly shut behind him, she looked directly at her friend–who walked into the room across the hall with her boyfriend. She couldn't get a word out, and before she knew it, she was lying on the bed, completely numb. Engrossed by the darkness that filled the room.
⋯
She left her friend's house speechless that morning. And when days passed, and her girlfriends wanted to have a movie night to celebrate the first college departure, she shoved her emotions beneath her and went. An hour or so into K's get-together, she received a random text from J, inviting her and the other girls to meet up with him and the other guys at the castle. She hadn't spoken to any of them in weeks, and her gut told her to leave.
She didn't.
When they arrived, the guys yelled and waved her to step out of the Jeep and into a star-filled sky looming over Duchon. The other guys were behind him, but it was hard for her to make out who was who.
She caught a glimpse of the blue eyes in the headlights. They inched towards her. Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. As they neared, she could faintly see that it was him, and he had something in his hands. A plastic container's outline became more apparent with every step, and what rested inside was a red velvet cake. He handed it over to her with a smirk tattooed across his face.
She could hear all but one of her girlfriends bicker in confusion about what this was all about. She looked down and saw it. Red, cursive letters frosted across a cake top: Thanks for letting me swipe your v-card!
She read it over and over again in disbelief. Tears streamed down her face. He turned his back and walked to the guys. She fell to her knees in the parking lot and launched the cake as far as she could.